Discernment Counseling
Make the Right Decision
Discernement counseling is a short-term counseling service, lasting 1 to 5 sessions maximum, to help you make the decision to separate or work together on your relationship. Discernement counseling is ideal when one of the partners in the couple is distant and/or does not want to do couples therapy. The goal is not to solve the couple's problems, but rather to assess what can be saved.
MAY
2024
Who is discernment counseling for?
✅ For people who are considering separation or divorce but don't know if it's the right path for them.
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✅ For people who want to analyze the situation one last time before making a permanent decision.
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✅ To people who want to give their relationship one last chance even if their partner is leaning more towards separation.
What are the objectives of the Council of Discernment?
SOOTH
Reduce anxiety in the couple during a period of crisis.
enlighten
Gain clarity and confidence for a direction to take for the couple
organize
Develop a personal plan to prepare the couple for change (optional)
Are you hesitant to separate?
If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure if it is the best course of action, you are in a difficult situation.
Discernment Counseling is for you.
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Discernment Counseling is not therapy, it is a new protocol to help couples where one person is "leaning out" of the relationship - and not sure that regular couples counseling would be helpful - and the other is "leaning in" - that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
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The counselor will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move towards divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
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The goal of counseling is for you to gain clarity and confidence in a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
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The goal is not to solve your marital problems, but to see if they are solvable.
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You will each be treated with compassion and respect regardless of how you feel about your marriage at the moment. No good guys or bad guys.
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You will come as a couple, but the most important work happens in the one-on-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting from different points.
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The counselor respects your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
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The counselor emphasizes the importance for each of you to see your own contributions to the problems and possible solutions. This will be helpful in future relationships even if this one ends.
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Number of sessions: A maximum of 5 counseling sessions.
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There is no commitment to the number of sessions. At the end of each session, the partners can choose to stop there, or to have one more session, up to the fifth session.
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The first session usually lasts 2 hours and the following sessions 1.5 or 2 hours.
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Discernment Counseling is not appropriate in the following situations:
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When one spouse has already made the final decision to divorce
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When one spouse forces the other to participate
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When there is a danger of domestic violence
The Benefits of Discernment Counseling
How does discernment counseling take place?
Discernment counseling is a short-term service, sessions take place approximately once a week.
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The opening session lasts 2 hours. Both spouses must be present at all sessions, which are a maximum of 5.
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Progress of the session: The counselor begins by meeting the couple together, then each spouse individually, then both spouses together again at the end of the session.
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So you will come as a couple but the most important work happens in the one-on-one conversations with the counselor.
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The counselor does not share specific details of what each spouse says, but is free to share impressions and reactions with each spouse when speaking to the other.
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The counselor is neutral during the sessions. He respects your reasons for wanting to separate while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
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At the end of each session, the counselor asks the couple if they would like to continue for an additional session. The couple can decide to stop, or to come back to continue exploring the different paths open to them.
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When a decision is made, the couple is asked to do a final session to prepare for the transition to this decision, whatever the decision. This session allows you to take stock, but it is optional.
Can we decide to do the sessions alone?
In principle, no. Discernment counseling was created with the aim of helping all partners in a relationship to clarify a situation, taking into account the vision of each of said partners. It is planned during the session times that the advisor meets all the partners each time.
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In addition, whatever the couple's decisions, it is more effective to move forward by agreeing on the path to take.
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However, there is a specific protocol for the case where one partner leans more towards divorce and does not wish to participate in any type of therapy or counseling. In this case the counselor focuses on the spouse present and helps them manage the situation in the best possible way.
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The number of sessions is a maximum of 5 and the duration of the sessions is the same.
