Returning from expatriation: the cultural and psychological shock that goes unseen
- Sabrina B.
- Aug 15
- 4 min read
Expatriation often ends with a dream of returning. We imagine finding our bearings, our friends, our family, and effortlessly reintegrating the social and professional fabric we left behind. Returning home is fantasized as a safe harbor, a haven where we finally feel at home again. But the reality is often quite different. Far from being a simple return to square one, repatriation is a psychosocial transition in its own right, an ordeal often more violent and destabilizing than the initial departure. This is the phenomenon that psychologists call "reverse culture shock," a disconcerting feeling of no longer belonging to the place we have always called "home." As René Descartes wrote as early as 1616, with astonishing aptness: "When one spends too much time traveling, one finally becomes a stranger in one's own country."
This article aims to explore this invisible shock in depth, to decipher its symptoms, to situate it in an emotional map and to provide the tools to transform this ordeal into a new opportunity for growth.
The myth of going back to square one
The main difficulty with repatriation lies in its unexpected nature. While we psychologically prepare ourselves for the difficulties of adapting abroad, we rarely anticipate that returning "home" could be a challenge. This lack of anticipation makes the shock all the more violent.
The myth of going back to square one rests on a false premise: that nothing has changed in our absence. However, not only has the country evolved, but it is the expatriate himself or herself who has been profoundly transformed by his or her experience abroad. We return with new perspectives, new habits, new values. The shock arises from this dissonance between the place we left and the person we have become.
The Invisible Ordeal: Symptoms of Reverse Culture Shock
Return shock is not an abstract concept. It manifests itself through a set of affective, cognitive, and behavioral symptoms.
Feeling out of place: The nagging feeling of no longer fitting in, of no longer belonging, is one of the most powerful symptoms. The expatriate feels alienated in his own country, out of step with his friends and family, whose lives have gone on without him.
Irritability and criticism: The repatriate may develop a critical and sometimes bitter attitude toward their own culture of origin, which they perceive as narrow-minded or outdated. This behavior, often misinterpreted by those around them, is an expression of their own frustration and dismay.
Loss of meaning: The return may be accompanied by a feeling of sadness, demotivation, and a loss of energy. This malaise can, in the most severe cases, develop into a full-blown depressive syndrome, requiring psychological support.
The W-Curve: Mapping the Emotional Roller Coaster
To conceptualize the emotional roller coaster of expatriation and return, researchers John and Jeanne Gullahorn proposed an extension of the "U-curve" model: the "W-curve." This model, while theoretical, offers a useful map for naming and normalizing one's experience.
The first U-shaped curve describes the phases of adaptation in the host country:
The Honeymoon: Euphoria and fascination with novelty.
Crisis (or Culture Shock): Confrontation with difficulties and frustration.
The Adjustment: We learn to navigate and feel more comfortable.
Integration: We feel at home.
The second U-shaped curve applies this same cycle to the repatriation process:
The Honeymoon of Return: The intense joy of reunion and rediscovery.
The Crisis (or Reverse Culture Shock): The painful realization of the gap. This is the phase where the feeling of alienation dominates.
Re-adjustment: A process of relearning social codes and rebuilding an identity that integrates the experience of expatriation.
Integration: Acceptance of one's hybrid identity and successful reintegration, but on new foundations.
The practical challenges of repatriation: beyond the psyche
Beyond the psychological shock, the return confronts the couple and the family with very concrete challenges which amplify the dismay.
Professional reintegration: Returning expatriates often struggle to have the skills they acquired abroad recognized and valued. They may face a loss of status, responsibilities, and autonomy compared to their previous position. For the returning spouse, the challenge is even greater: they often have to start from scratch, with a "hole" in their CV to justify and a network to rebuild from scratch.
Social and family fabric: Returning home confronts a disconcerting reality: the world has gone on without us. Pre-departure friendships have sometimes weakened, and interests have diverged. The couple must make a considerable effort to rebuild a satisfactory social network and regain their place in the family circle, which has also evolved.
Conclusion on returning from expatriation: a journey that forges identity
Returning from expatriation, or returning home, is the final stage of a journey that profoundly transforms us. Expatriation, as a whole, is an experience that forces us to reinvent ourselves, redefine our roles, and confront new versions of ourselves.
Reverse culture shock is not an illness, but a normal process of rehabilitation, a necessary step in integrating the person you became abroad with the person you were. The key is not to experience it alone. By talking about it, giving yourself time to relearn the codes, and accepting help from loved ones or a professional, you can transform the feeling of being a foreigner in your own country into a source of resilience and pride. Because the end of a journey is never the end of the story, but the beginning of a new one, where you can finally integrate your hybrid identity to create a future that reflects who you are.
Keywords: Expatriation, Return, Reverse culture shock, Repatriation, Couple, Psychology, W-shaped curve
Image Credit: Norman Brown
What aspect of your return surprised you the most? How did you navigate this sense of disconnect? If you or your partner feel unsettled by this transition, I offer online coaching sessions from Monaco to help you find your way and turn this return into an opportunity for growth.
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