At the heart of my practice, I am regularly confronted with individuals or couples with a desire for change, confronted with their own doubts or skepticism regarding their partner's capacity for transformation.
These concerns are natural and highlight the complexity of change in therapy. Is change really within our reach? And if so, what is the path to take to get there?
The Reality of Change
Change, in its essence, is not only possible but is also a constant dynamic of our existence. Our ability to transform ourselves, to adapt, testifies to our resilience and our potential for evolution. This truth, although universal, manifests itself differently from person to person, influenced by a multitude of personal and contextual factors.
Time for Change
The temporality of change is a variable, personal data. Some individuals see significant progress in just a few sessions, while for others the journey can take months or even years. This journey, unique to each individual, is marked by stages of realization and reflection which cannot be rushed.
Levers of Change
Three main elements can influence the trajectory and speed of change:
Level of self-awareness : Awareness is the basis of change. The sharper this awareness, the faster the transformation process can be. Understanding your own mechanisms, recognizing your behavioral patterns, and identifying your underlying emotions and thoughts are steps that can accelerate the process of change, providing essential clarity to move forward.
Level of involvement : Engagement in the therapeutic process is decisive. Active involvement, a willingness to dive into the work of reflection and questioning, can significantly reduce the time needed for change. Conversely, a more hesitant or reserved approach can lengthen the process, requiring additional time to overcome the barriers of fear and resistance.
Nature of desired changes : Transformation objectives also play a crucial role. Realistic, well-defined goals tend to facilitate a more direct and less bumpy therapeutic journey, while unclear or unrealistic expectations can complicate and prolong the journey to change.
Chase away the natural...
It is crucial to remember that our “nature”, that which brings us back to our learned instincts and reflexes, is anchored in our past and our experiences. However, the motivation to change takes root in the present , driven by a desire for well-being and sometimes by immediate challenges that demand our attention.
In conclusion
The path to change, in a therapeutic context, is a deeply personal journey, requiring patience, commitment, and an unwavering faith in the possibility of transformation. Despite the foundations of our being sculpted by the past, our impulse towards change is anchored in the present, fueled by our desire for growth. Change is within reach, as long as we fully commit to it, celebrating each step forward as a victory towards the most fulfilled version of ourselves.